Is your conversation with your "Physical Self" appropriate for polite company?

or.. 

What the @#$& are you saying?

I just have a quick question for you. What kind of conversation are you having with your physical self throughout the day? If you're anything like me that conversation might not be appropriate for polite company. Well at least it used to be that way.

One day I had a weird thought. I looked down at what I was then referring to as my body and asked, "what is this thing anyway". My first weird thought was followed by a second weird thought. What if this thing I'm calling my body     were an entity all on its own. Like a pet….

I know it sounds super strange, but it occurred to me that if this thing were anything outside of myself, literally anything at all, I would never be                                                                                     speaking to it this way! 

In fact, I realized that I don't think I would speak to even an inanimate object that way. In the moment the thought both horrified and made me laugh. I imagined myself talking to a vase with the disdain, dislike, and downright trash talk I used when talking to my physical self.

You see the thing is that, I consider myself a nice person. I try to be kind, considerate, and loving to all things. Especially those I know have feelings, needs and wants. Well, I certainly hadn't been any of those things to my physical self. The truth is I've been cruel, unkind and let's face it abusive. I laughed again when I realized that if someone asked my body to describe me, it would probably say "She's a real bitch!"

This one strange thought started me on a whole new adventure. The adventure began with addressing my body in a completely different way. I also began to see my physical self as an entity unto itself with needs and wants, likes and dislikes of its own. We all sort of know this to be true. We talk about what our body wants or craves. We often talk about our body doing what it wants and not at all what we want. So it's not such a foreign idea.

I started this new adventure with my physical self by wondering how to begin addressing her in a more respectful way. I began by saying her not it. Then I asked if she had a name.....

But that is a story for another day.... 

So I return to my original question, is the conversation you are having with your body appropriate for polite company? And are the things you are saying the kind of language and sentiment you generally use with other people, animals, inanimate objects? 

If not I invite you to take the day to simply notice the conversation that you're having with your physical self.

1. Notice how you refer to your physical self. When you speak to her directly do you use the term        you, I, we, my? You're not looking for right or wrong here just noticing.

2. Notice how often the conversation is less of a conversation and more of a negotiation, argument,    knockdown drag out, or tender interaction.

3. Notice your connection with your physical self. Do you feel separate, connected, imprisoned,      maybe locked in a cell with your worst enemy, or in harmony?

4. Notice if what you say specifically to your physical self causes any sensation in the physical.
  Notice if the body tenses or relaxes,has pain or lack of pain, has a sense of heaviness or lightness in     response to your inner dialogue.

 5. Try one time during the day having a conversation with your physical self that feels more like    talking to a new acquaintance. Use polite language as you might to a person that you do not know  well but that you want to feel acknowledged and respected.

One word of caution these simple exercises might begin the internal adventure of a lifetime!

Liz Larson
transformoneidea@gmail.com

Life Design Strategist
NLP Master Practitioner

Yoga Pants and Half-assery!

 
   Are you holding back or going all in? And do you want to?



Recently I decided that I wanted to change some habits, change some outcomes and in general get it in gear! I know from my NLP training that one great way to do this is to Model the behavior of people who are achieving the results that I want. It's also one thing to KNOW  and another to actually DO!

     I decided that rather than jump into major changes, like I usually do only to give up at the first sign of aggravation, that I would simply "notice". Notice what I do and then ask my self the Dr. Phil question, "How's that working for you?!" Yes it's true, the little voice in my head can be quite sarcastic! Right away I liked this practice, because I wasn't instantly wrong, I get to think about whether  what I am doing, thinking or being is something that is "working" for me or not. Then gently, I get to ask myself what might work better, or what does a person do who gets amazing results in this area. Or even consistent results. Here is where the yoga pants come in....

     YOGA.......well that is a whole subject unto it's self.  I had been thinking it was a good  idea  for years. It sounds all Zen and peaceful, but for those of us who have an inherent fear of  yoga pants the idea can be daunting."So what does a person do who wants to have more strength, flexibility and a yoga butt?", I ask myself. They slap on some yoga pants, find a studio and go!

      So I did! With the help of a friend I found a lovely studio with an even more lovely instructor. The type of yoga works for me too, slow, gentle and very informative. I discovered right away, well after the struggle of the first three classes, that I could use some deep breathing during class and get a sort of meditation out of the class too. Score! I decided that this IS in alignment with what I want to create for myself. (Internal High Five!)

     Good so far. Meanwhile.......my normal behavior in any exercise class is to watch the clock for, "How much longer do I have to do this?" As well as, "How much can I do so I look as though I'm working hard, but not actually go all in?" Thus the Half- Assery.... Now, even I can see that this isn't the behavior of a dedicated Yogi or anyone who achieves the highly sought after yoga butt!

     OH NO! As a side note, this opened up the question, "Am I a Half- Asser in other areas?" Hmm... maybe I'll watch out for that from now on.......

     Back in the yoga studio,  I asked myself the "question" and decided that I could focus a little more and maybe hold the poses thru the "burn". Maybe I could deepen my breath and move through the poses as though I meant it! Now this wasn't a great discovery in a deep meditation. I didn't go to therapy to figure it out. I didn't even phone a friend. I simply asked myself what can I do in this moment to be more true to what I want and who I intend to be. It was a split second question and answer, then a decision in the moment to make a different choice. Hmm... interesting. Are there other areas that I could do this same thing?

     It didn't change the world, at least I haven't seen evidence of this yet, but it did change my inner landscape. After giving the pose that I was in my full attention and effort, I felt an instant sense of accomplishment and I wanted more! Who knew it felt great to go all in?  And in yoga pants no less! I no longer even have the desire to Half-Ass it in yoga class! I  kind of enjoy actually doing it like I mean it! Oh and don't tell anyone, but I even look forward to yoga class! I want to see what else I can do!

     If you have experienced wanting to make changes only to want to make those same changes for 20 years, you might like this simple exercise too!

     It's quite easy since you don't have to plan anything in advance. You don't have to read any book. There is no new methodology or church to join. You simply ask  yourself the question in the moment. Am I giving this my all? Or Is this what a successful person would do in this moment? Or  Is there a different choice I could make right now? Then wait for the immediate answer that WILL come. Then choose to do it differently. right now, this time. Just try it on, if it works you have a new pattern. If it doesn't choose again!

You might be surprised what happens and quickly....I truly am!

Liz Larson
transformoneidea@gmail.com

Life Design Strategist
NLP Master Practitioner