Is your conversation with your "Physical Self" appropriate for polite company?

or.. 

What the @#$& are you saying?

I just have a quick question for you. What kind of conversation are you having with your physical self throughout the day? If you're anything like me that conversation might not be appropriate for polite company. Well at least it used to be that way.

One day I had a weird thought. I looked down at what I was then referring to as my body and asked, "what is this thing anyway". My first weird thought was followed by a second weird thought. What if this thing I'm calling my body     were an entity all on its own. Like a pet….

I know it sounds super strange, but it occurred to me that if this thing were anything outside of myself, literally anything at all, I would never be                                                                                     speaking to it this way! 

In fact, I realized that I don't think I would speak to even an inanimate object that way. In the moment the thought both horrified and made me laugh. I imagined myself talking to a vase with the disdain, dislike, and downright trash talk I used when talking to my physical self.

You see the thing is that, I consider myself a nice person. I try to be kind, considerate, and loving to all things. Especially those I know have feelings, needs and wants. Well, I certainly hadn't been any of those things to my physical self. The truth is I've been cruel, unkind and let's face it abusive. I laughed again when I realized that if someone asked my body to describe me, it would probably say "She's a real bitch!"

This one strange thought started me on a whole new adventure. The adventure began with addressing my body in a completely different way. I also began to see my physical self as an entity unto itself with needs and wants, likes and dislikes of its own. We all sort of know this to be true. We talk about what our body wants or craves. We often talk about our body doing what it wants and not at all what we want. So it's not such a foreign idea.

I started this new adventure with my physical self by wondering how to begin addressing her in a more respectful way. I began by saying her not it. Then I asked if she had a name.....

But that is a story for another day.... 

So I return to my original question, is the conversation you are having with your body appropriate for polite company? And are the things you are saying the kind of language and sentiment you generally use with other people, animals, inanimate objects? 

If not I invite you to take the day to simply notice the conversation that you're having with your physical self.

1. Notice how you refer to your physical self. When you speak to her directly do you use the term        you, I, we, my? You're not looking for right or wrong here just noticing.

2. Notice how often the conversation is less of a conversation and more of a negotiation, argument,    knockdown drag out, or tender interaction.

3. Notice your connection with your physical self. Do you feel separate, connected, imprisoned,      maybe locked in a cell with your worst enemy, or in harmony?

4. Notice if what you say specifically to your physical self causes any sensation in the physical.
  Notice if the body tenses or relaxes,has pain or lack of pain, has a sense of heaviness or lightness in     response to your inner dialogue.

 5. Try one time during the day having a conversation with your physical self that feels more like    talking to a new acquaintance. Use polite language as you might to a person that you do not know  well but that you want to feel acknowledged and respected.

One word of caution these simple exercises might begin the internal adventure of a lifetime!

Liz Larson
transformoneidea@gmail.com

Life Design Strategist
NLP Master Practitioner

Yoga Pants and Half-assery!

 
   Are you holding back or going all in? And do you want to?



Recently I decided that I wanted to change some habits, change some outcomes and in general get it in gear! I know from my NLP training that one great way to do this is to Model the behavior of people who are achieving the results that I want. It's also one thing to KNOW  and another to actually DO!

     I decided that rather than jump into major changes, like I usually do only to give up at the first sign of aggravation, that I would simply "notice". Notice what I do and then ask my self the Dr. Phil question, "How's that working for you?!" Yes it's true, the little voice in my head can be quite sarcastic! Right away I liked this practice, because I wasn't instantly wrong, I get to think about whether  what I am doing, thinking or being is something that is "working" for me or not. Then gently, I get to ask myself what might work better, or what does a person do who gets amazing results in this area. Or even consistent results. Here is where the yoga pants come in....

     YOGA.......well that is a whole subject unto it's self.  I had been thinking it was a good  idea  for years. It sounds all Zen and peaceful, but for those of us who have an inherent fear of  yoga pants the idea can be daunting."So what does a person do who wants to have more strength, flexibility and a yoga butt?", I ask myself. They slap on some yoga pants, find a studio and go!

      So I did! With the help of a friend I found a lovely studio with an even more lovely instructor. The type of yoga works for me too, slow, gentle and very informative. I discovered right away, well after the struggle of the first three classes, that I could use some deep breathing during class and get a sort of meditation out of the class too. Score! I decided that this IS in alignment with what I want to create for myself. (Internal High Five!)

     Good so far. Meanwhile.......my normal behavior in any exercise class is to watch the clock for, "How much longer do I have to do this?" As well as, "How much can I do so I look as though I'm working hard, but not actually go all in?" Thus the Half- Assery.... Now, even I can see that this isn't the behavior of a dedicated Yogi or anyone who achieves the highly sought after yoga butt!

     OH NO! As a side note, this opened up the question, "Am I a Half- Asser in other areas?" Hmm... maybe I'll watch out for that from now on.......

     Back in the yoga studio,  I asked myself the "question" and decided that I could focus a little more and maybe hold the poses thru the "burn". Maybe I could deepen my breath and move through the poses as though I meant it! Now this wasn't a great discovery in a deep meditation. I didn't go to therapy to figure it out. I didn't even phone a friend. I simply asked myself what can I do in this moment to be more true to what I want and who I intend to be. It was a split second question and answer, then a decision in the moment to make a different choice. Hmm... interesting. Are there other areas that I could do this same thing?

     It didn't change the world, at least I haven't seen evidence of this yet, but it did change my inner landscape. After giving the pose that I was in my full attention and effort, I felt an instant sense of accomplishment and I wanted more! Who knew it felt great to go all in?  And in yoga pants no less! I no longer even have the desire to Half-Ass it in yoga class! I  kind of enjoy actually doing it like I mean it! Oh and don't tell anyone, but I even look forward to yoga class! I want to see what else I can do!

     If you have experienced wanting to make changes only to want to make those same changes for 20 years, you might like this simple exercise too!

     It's quite easy since you don't have to plan anything in advance. You don't have to read any book. There is no new methodology or church to join. You simply ask  yourself the question in the moment. Am I giving this my all? Or Is this what a successful person would do in this moment? Or  Is there a different choice I could make right now? Then wait for the immediate answer that WILL come. Then choose to do it differently. right now, this time. Just try it on, if it works you have a new pattern. If it doesn't choose again!

You might be surprised what happens and quickly....I truly am!

Liz Larson
transformoneidea@gmail.com

Life Design Strategist
NLP Master Practitioner

What Are You Doing Right, Right Now?

Do you ever find yourself day dreaming? What do you day dream about? The big stuff? Getting that book written, starting your own business, starting your dream career?  What about the fun stuff, the big vacation or family trip, that second home on an exotic island? What ever your day dream is it's sure to have you smiling while you picture yourself there and in it! However, as you return to where you are now, today, do you find yourself feeling a little let down even stuck?

It's often this way. If we could just get to that utopia of our day dream, our lives would be so much better.It seems to magnify the crappyness of our current circumstances. Getting from here to there can seem impossible or just so far away. What if we are closer than we think? What if we could feel great about where we are now as well?

As I have shared before I am a (recovering) self appointed Queen of Frustration. I have had the experience of being frustrated 3 seconds after I have a great new idea. Why? Because I didn't have the idea 2 weeks ago of course! If I had, how far ahead would I be now?! I think you see my point. However I had an experience that changed how I think about this and actually changed the course of my life. 

I had been teaching Cake Decorating on You Tube, where I had over 75 million views. I walked into a Cake Decorating supply store in Los Angeles and was recognized by the owner. This was a strange experience for me, even though so many people around the world had seen me I had never been recognized in public. The young woman looked tired and a bit worn. I recognized the look of overwhelm and exhaustion that so many small business owners have. Been there done that! She began to ask a few questions about YouTube and how it works. She commented on how nice it must be to be working in the media I was most passionate about. Before I knew it I blurted out,"Cake Decorating is not my passion! It's a skill that I happen to be well trained in and I'm good at, but I don't love it."  Her face went a little white. But what flowed out of my mouth next had to be a message from my own soul. "My real passion is inspiring and teaching people to reach their highest potential." I went on to explain that what I truly love about this work is the emails from around the world. The stories of people who have changed their lives by starting a new store front Cake Business as well as business's in their homes. The people who never dreamed that they could decorate anything and after finding my channel were able to decorate their child's Wedding Cake. I even had a woman tell me that she and her daughter were shut-ins suffering with Agoraphobia and Anxiety and couldn't leave the house. In the middle of the night they started watching videos and were inspired to start decorating and were in the process of starting a home business. I was shocked to see email after email telling me that I had inspired them and helped them succeed.

As I wove through the stories that inspired me, my spirit soared. I could see the store owner's weariness fade as well and that the glow in my being was being transferred to her. Her smile grew and as my story came to a close she commented, " Wow, you that's a great story, you should be an inspirational speaker". Little did she know, that was my true passion.

Until that moment I hadn't realized that I was  already doing what I wanted to do! The subject matter wasn't what I had thought it would be, but I was already helping people, by inspiring them to try something new and to go for their dreams. I began to see that where I am right now is important! Wow what a breakthrough ! I didn't need to be frustrated, because in many ways I was already living out my "dream". I began to break it down to try to figure out how this happened. How could it be possible? What were the components. They boiled down to this:

 1. I showed up with integrity, I offered the best I had to my audience with each video.
 2. I showed up as who I am, I didn't try to be someone I'm not to gain viewers.
 3. I truly cared about the people I was speaking with.
 4. I taught what I knew.

I know now that this is a formula for both creating our dreams and being satisfied with where we are right now.

I encourage you to try this on for yourself. Ask yourself these four questions.

1. Where do I show up with integrity in my life now and offer the very best that I have?
2. Where do I show up as my authentic self as I truly am?
3. Where in my life now do I care deeply about the people I serve, assist, teach or help?
4. Where do I use my wisdom and knowledge at it's highest level?

If some of these questions draw a blank at first shift them to a "Where can I" question. For example:
Where can I show up with integrity in my life. Begin to mine your current life for the gold that is just below the surface.  You will be surprised how quickly your mind will  find the areas of your life in which you are already living your "dreams" or on a sure trajectory for living your very best life.

We all have moments of greatness each day! Recognizing them makes each day a little sweeter. And as the saying goes what we focus on expands.Why not focus on how great we are doing right now and experience a little taste of that Utopia today!

Liz Larson
transformoneidea@gmail.com

Life Design Strategist
NLP Master Practitioner

The Ugly Truth About My Gratitude Journal

 The Ugly Truth About My Gratitude Journal                                          Is......

                            

That it's empty! Yep nuthin', niente, nada! Okay, I said it! It's out there! 

Wait! Before you sentence me to 1000 Hail Mary's or a month in an Ashram, let me plead my case!

I tried.......a little..........I did, but I just couldn't get into it. I first heard about the Gratitude Journal on Oprah many years ago. I loved the stories about how it transformed lives and made people beautiful and wealthy, so of course I was on board. I bought the prettiest journal I could find, okay a nice one, okay  a new note pad......... and I sat down to make my list. I added my family, who happened to be irritating me at the moment. I added my house, which needed work. I added my friends, who hadn't been there for me lately. I'm sure you're starting to see the pattern . I started to feel terrible! It just wasn't the transformational journey I was hoping for. I tried many times after that.... well about once a year, and then I would remember,I just don't like it. It didn't feel genuine. I felt like I was betraying the "Well Being" community, so for all of this time I have kept this truth as my own deep dark shame. Until today! 

Today I found myself being grateful for a "Good Eyebrow Day"! Similar to a good hair day, but you can't put eyebrows back in a ponytail if they are unruly. I have been at war with my eyebrows lately. It got so bad that my friends were buying me the newest and latest products, in hopes of quelling the constant whining. I tried them all, thinking I had  relatively good eyebrow skills, to no avail. I was beginning to think I would have to accept that I was living with bad brows. Then it happened! This morning I tried one of the myriad of products in yet another way and.....tada.......Fairly Normal Eyebrows! I found myself celebrating! And it hit me, this is gratitude! I am grateful for normal brows!

While it was a very small victory, I really took the time to feel grateful! I didn't need to write it down in a journal, I just needed to  be in the moment of , YES! I realized that I often take a minute to be in the YES. Little celebrations and occasionally victory dances when my garden blooms, when I get a bit of good news, when my pants are looser than yesterday........ 

In the end I'm not anti-gratitude! I just don't connect with putting it in a journal. What a relief! I can rejoin the ranks of the "Well Intentioned" with my head held high. 

My call to action-

If you've been hiding Gratitude Journal Shame, have heart! There is hope! I encourage you pay attention to the little ways you celebrate the YES with your private and public victory dances, your secret fist pumps, your under the breath Whooo Hooos.

Liz Larson
transformoneidea@gmail.com

Life Design Strategist
NLP Master Practitioner