Then she asked an intriguing question, "Isn't that kind of like Tooting Your Own Horn?" As we chatted she understood quickly that , "tooting your own horn" isn't what this fun little process is about at all, but the question lingered in my mind for the rest of the day.
Two things struck me as I considered the idea. The first is that it is not generally socially acceptable to acknowledge positive aspects about ourselves,"tooting or own horn", but it is perfectly acceptable to share traumatic or problematic stories about ourselves. That's not considered "tooting our own horns" however I have heard people "one up" each other with trauma stories.
The second is that it may not even be socially acceptable to "toot your own horn" in the privacy of your own mind! This my friends must stop now!
The question now is how? How do we begin? The first step is to simply begin shifting our ideas about sharing what's going right with each other and with ourselves. Begin by asking your group of friends, "what are the experiences you had that make you so good at what you do". Encourage each other to share little, yet powerful, stories about how they learned to be successful, kind, caring, loving, or awesome! This is a new muscle that needs to be flexed and worked. If you have kids, you can practice with them. Kids will always share why they are so awesome, and then model their attitudes. It's not about bragging or boasting, but acknowledging that some great things have to have happened to build you into the person you are now. Gathering them together and bringing them forward into the futures we are creating, helps us know for sure that we have a solid foundation and that we are already on the way to having the life we want. It's like packing a suitcase full of all of the things we will need on the journey to come. It's also just a great way to feel good NOW!
Appreciating ourselves and our experiences has an amazing way of spurring new ideas and new ways of using the things that have served us in the past. It helps us recognize tools we forgot we had. It truly is a treasure hunt in our own minds, but it can also create a wealth of fun, uplifting conversations!
It's time to delete the idea that we can't ,"toot our own horns" just a little! It's an out dated idea and we my friends are far too progressive to perpetuate old outdated ideas!
So I say start Tootin'! First in your own mind, then out loud, and while you're at it toot someone else's horn too!
Liz Larson
transformoneidea@gmail.com
Life Design Strategist
NLP Master Practitioner
Plies, great post, toot away!
ReplyDeleteI think it depends on where you are in the process. Sometimes tooting is good and sometimes it gets in the way. For me the process of creating begins with an idea, call or urge to create something new, It moves forward if I have faith in it's eventuality. At some point it is actualized or materialized and it is good to TOOT, TOOT, TOOT, to bring home the fact that what was once just imagined has manifested. It is a way of acknowledging the creation.
ReplyDeleteThe next step, at least for me, is to share or give to others the rewards of this process. Tooting at this point is counterproductive because it might not allow me to see the creation from the point of view of the recipient of it's goodness.
If tooting is engaged in the idea or faith part of the process it trips me up also. At those points claiming greatness only puts me into thinking about the outcome instead of taking the steps in the process. This triggers perfectionism and leads to blocks..
If we feel that we are entitled to toot whenever that can be tricky too. We may be claiming our success and in effect our self value through the eyes of others. When we find our value through the eyes of others it can create insecurity.
Tooting is great in marketing because it is as though we are sharing the realization of this great part of us or what we have made. However, once that is understood and it is time to deliver tooting can really harm the relationship between myself and the recipient. I've found that it's good to keep principles and personality seperate when I am in service to others.
Thanks Barbara!
DeleteExcellent point
ReplyDeleteThanks Nikki! You surely have much to Toot about :)
DeleteAwesome article, Liz! I believe it is essential to toot, especially to one's self, and especially if you're prone to a negative, critical voice. I do this every day by writing down and giving myself five compliments. I am coming up on two years of doing this practice and it has changed my life and really helped boost my self worth and help me develop a better relationship with myself.
ReplyDeleteWow Jaime, that's an amazing practice! Focusing on the good we are doing and creating in the world is surely an under used and readily available tool! Writing it down takes it to a whole other level, I'm going to try it! Thanks
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