Should You Toot Your Own Horn?

Today I was talking to a good friend about the process I posted a few days ago , "Take Your Mind On A Treasure Hunt". I was explaining how fun it is to  look back on your own past and find the little gems that supported you, built you, and made you so powerful today. We each have skills, things we excel at and things that are going right. I gave her the example that I shared in the video of the same name, all the little experiences that gave me the willingness and ability to speak and teach publicly.

Then she asked an intriguing question, "Isn't that kind of like Tooting Your Own Horn?" As we chatted she understood quickly that , "tooting your own horn" isn't what this fun little process is about at all, but the question lingered in my mind for the rest of the day.

Two things struck me as I considered the idea. The first is that it is not generally socially acceptable to acknowledge positive aspects about ourselves,"tooting or own horn", but it is perfectly acceptable to share traumatic or problematic stories about ourselves. That's not considered "tooting our own horns" however I have heard people "one up" each other with trauma stories.

The second is that it may not even be socially acceptable to "toot your own horn" in the privacy of your own mind! This my friends must stop now!

The question now is how? How do we begin? The first step is to simply begin shifting our ideas about sharing what's going right with each other and with ourselves. Begin by asking your group of friends, "what are the experiences you had that make you so good at what you do". Encourage each other to share little, yet powerful, stories about how they learned to be successful, kind, caring, loving, or awesome! This is a new muscle that needs to be flexed and worked. If you have kids, you can practice with them. Kids will always share why they are so awesome, and then model their attitudes. It's not about bragging or boasting, but acknowledging that some great things have to have happened to build you into the person you are now. Gathering them together and bringing them forward into the futures we are creating, helps us know for sure that we have a solid foundation and that we are already on the way to having the life we want. It's like packing a suitcase full of all of the things we will need on the journey to come. It's also just a great way to feel good NOW!

Appreciating ourselves and our experiences has an amazing way of spurring new ideas and new ways of using the things that have served us in the past. It helps us recognize tools we forgot we had. It truly is a treasure hunt in our own minds, but it can also create a wealth of fun, uplifting conversations!

It's time to delete the idea that we can't ,"toot our own horns" just a little! It's an out dated idea and we my friends are far too progressive to perpetuate old outdated ideas!
So I say start Tootin'! First in your own mind, then out loud, and while you're at it toot someone else's horn too!

Liz Larson
transformoneidea@gmail.com

Life Design Strategist
NLP Master Practitioner

What Are You Doing Right, Right Now?

Do you ever find yourself day dreaming? What do you day dream about? The big stuff? Getting that book written, starting your own business, starting your dream career?  What about the fun stuff, the big vacation or family trip, that second home on an exotic island? What ever your day dream is it's sure to have you smiling while you picture yourself there and in it! However, as you return to where you are now, today, do you find yourself feeling a little let down even stuck?

It's often this way. If we could just get to that utopia of our day dream, our lives would be so much better.It seems to magnify the crappyness of our current circumstances. Getting from here to there can seem impossible or just so far away. What if we are closer than we think? What if we could feel great about where we are now as well?

As I have shared before I am a (recovering) self appointed Queen of Frustration. I have had the experience of being frustrated 3 seconds after I have a great new idea. Why? Because I didn't have the idea 2 weeks ago of course! If I had, how far ahead would I be now?! I think you see my point. However I had an experience that changed how I think about this and actually changed the course of my life. 

I had been teaching Cake Decorating on You Tube, where I had over 75 million views. I walked into a Cake Decorating supply store in Los Angeles and was recognized by the owner. This was a strange experience for me, even though so many people around the world had seen me I had never been recognized in public. The young woman looked tired and a bit worn. I recognized the look of overwhelm and exhaustion that so many small business owners have. Been there done that! She began to ask a few questions about YouTube and how it works. She commented on how nice it must be to be working in the media I was most passionate about. Before I knew it I blurted out,"Cake Decorating is not my passion! It's a skill that I happen to be well trained in and I'm good at, but I don't love it."  Her face went a little white. But what flowed out of my mouth next had to be a message from my own soul. "My real passion is inspiring and teaching people to reach their highest potential." I went on to explain that what I truly love about this work is the emails from around the world. The stories of people who have changed their lives by starting a new store front Cake Business as well as business's in their homes. The people who never dreamed that they could decorate anything and after finding my channel were able to decorate their child's Wedding Cake. I even had a woman tell me that she and her daughter were shut-ins suffering with Agoraphobia and Anxiety and couldn't leave the house. In the middle of the night they started watching videos and were inspired to start decorating and were in the process of starting a home business. I was shocked to see email after email telling me that I had inspired them and helped them succeed.

As I wove through the stories that inspired me, my spirit soared. I could see the store owner's weariness fade as well and that the glow in my being was being transferred to her. Her smile grew and as my story came to a close she commented, " Wow, you that's a great story, you should be an inspirational speaker". Little did she know, that was my true passion.

Until that moment I hadn't realized that I was  already doing what I wanted to do! The subject matter wasn't what I had thought it would be, but I was already helping people, by inspiring them to try something new and to go for their dreams. I began to see that where I am right now is important! Wow what a breakthrough ! I didn't need to be frustrated, because in many ways I was already living out my "dream". I began to break it down to try to figure out how this happened. How could it be possible? What were the components. They boiled down to this:

 1. I showed up with integrity, I offered the best I had to my audience with each video.
 2. I showed up as who I am, I didn't try to be someone I'm not to gain viewers.
 3. I truly cared about the people I was speaking with.
 4. I taught what I knew.

I know now that this is a formula for both creating our dreams and being satisfied with where we are right now.

I encourage you to try this on for yourself. Ask yourself these four questions.

1. Where do I show up with integrity in my life now and offer the very best that I have?
2. Where do I show up as my authentic self as I truly am?
3. Where in my life now do I care deeply about the people I serve, assist, teach or help?
4. Where do I use my wisdom and knowledge at it's highest level?

If some of these questions draw a blank at first shift them to a "Where can I" question. For example:
Where can I show up with integrity in my life. Begin to mine your current life for the gold that is just below the surface.  You will be surprised how quickly your mind will  find the areas of your life in which you are already living your "dreams" or on a sure trajectory for living your very best life.

We all have moments of greatness each day! Recognizing them makes each day a little sweeter. And as the saying goes what we focus on expands.Why not focus on how great we are doing right now and experience a little taste of that Utopia today!

Liz Larson
transformoneidea@gmail.com

Life Design Strategist
NLP Master Practitioner